The round is open. The topic isn't.
A funding announcement immediately withdraws permission for follow-up questions.
Back · BlackWe’re Raising. (Don’t Ask.) Hoodie
$75
Size guide
Oversized by design. Take your usual size for the oversized look, one down for a closer fit.
| Flat, in | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width | 20 | 22 | 24 | 26 | 28 | 30 |
| Length | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 |
Lane Seven LS16001, measured laid flat. Chest is armpit to armpit; double it for the full round. Each piece can differ by up to 2 in (5 cm).
Made to order, final sale. Paid size exchange within 14 days; misprints replaced free. Exchanges & Returns
- Blank
- Lane Seven LS16001
- Fabric
- 10 oz 80/20 cotton-poly fleece
- Fit
- Unisex oversized
- Front mark, full back, printed neck label
- Shipping
- Printed in 2-5 business days. $5.95 in the US, free over $90
The news is public. The conversation is closed. For founders who have discovered that announcing a funding round can invite more questions than they were prepared to answer.
Clean front. Loud back. A small REGEX wordmark sits on the chest, with the main line across the back. One ink per garment. Comes in Black with white ink or White with black ink.
The joke, explained
Raising means seeking investment for a company. The parenthetical don't ask contradicts the invitation normally created by announcing it. The joke captures a founder who wants the funding effort acknowledged without opening a discussion about the amount, progress, terms, or how the process is actually going.
For the founder whose funding update needs no follow-up.
- Fit
- Oversized unisex fit with a kangaroo pocket and no drawstrings. Take your usual size for the oversized look, one size down for a closer fit.
- Fabric
- Heavyweight cotton-blend fleece, about 10 oz, 80% cotton and 20% recycled polyester.
- One ink with a light vintage texture. White ink on Black, black ink on White. REGEX on the chest, the line across the back.
- Care
- Wash cold inside out. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Do not iron the print or use bleach.
- Shipping
- Into the build queue. Printed to order in 2 to 5 business days, then shipped. Free US shipping on orders of $90 or more.
Questions
Why announce the raise and discourage questions immediately?
That contradiction drives the joke. The founder signals that fundraising is happening while avoiding the details that listeners naturally want, giving a public update an unusually firm boundary.
Which raising does the funding joke refer to?
It means raising investment for a startup, not raising prices or lifting something. The parenthetical gives that business update the emotional texture of a topic the wearer would rather leave alone.
